at&t… You’re like a septic tank. Big, dirty, smelly…but necessary

Preface
Alright. Let’s just declare the obvious… YES, I bought the iPhone 3G yesterday. YES, I got up early to wait in line. YES, I do feel compelled to at least seriously consider purchasing nearly everything Apple releases.

I’ll give my official ‘review’ in another next post.

The Justification
My beautiful bride‘s Nokia met the washing machine about 3 weeks ago. It was only a couple of months old. That means her contract was too new to qualify for an upgrade. Even the cruddiest phone (which MY chic lady does NOT deserve) was going to cost me some jack. Soooo, since all iPhone owners ‘qualify’ for an upgrade to the 3G, we all know it was the logical choice…right?

The Acquisition
Friday’s my day off from West Ridge. We had a scheduled Ob appointment for Annette at 10:15am. iPhones go on sale at 8am. Nearest at&t store is in Hiram right next to the Chick-fil-A we’d be stopping at anyway on the way to the doc. Annette could meet me there before heading to Marietta.

So, alarm goes off at 5:45. I’m showered, out the door by 6:20. 15-min drive into Hiram, swing into at&t parking lot to assess the situation. There’s definitely a line… Didn’t count then, but decide to go ahead and grab some protein before finding my place at the back of the line. Grab a chicken bfast burrito from CFA. Back across the lot to get in line.

Walk up the line… Looks like I’m #33. It’s 6:45am… Worth sticking around, I figure. Plop.

I had loaded up iPhone 2.0 on Thursday, so I’ve got the perfect time-killer in my pocket. Let the tweets begin. Couple of gentlemen line up behind me… A plump man in his late 50′s who literally, undeniably sounds exactly like Donald Sutherland. And another middle-aged man with a cane. We end up chit-chatting throughout the morning. Donald’s son-in-law shows up and hops in line with him. Fine by me…they aren’t slowing ME up!

Son-in-law is Green Beret who returned from Afghanistan several months ago. We ended up finding out we had a common love of missions in third-world countries. He was very interested in what I had experienced in Burkina Faso last year. I asked if he went to church nearby… Turns out he is LDS. Interesting.

7:30… Store manager comes out to prep the crowd. Hands out informational flyers. Won’t tell us how many she has. Only 1 per person. That’s good for me, I guess. I ask her if it’s worth my while to stay in line… She pauses, and finally says, “Yes.”

More waiting.

8:03… Doors open. 8 registers open. Only 8 in the store at a time. Thus begins the movement of the slowest line I’ve ever stood in.

8:30… About 12 people have moved through the line. Manager comes out. Says it’s taking about 15 minutes per person because they have to activate the phones in store. I’m thinking that’s an unnecessary step in the process. But whatever. Note: The first 4 people in the line are still not out of the store.

8:45… Manager out again. “Is anyone here wanting a 16GB model? Because I only have 2 blacks and 4 whites left.” She takes a tally. I claim a white. At least now I know I’m not wasting my time.

9:00… Still waiting. (Remember… I’m #33 in line. When Annette and I waiting in line last year at the Apple Store at Perimeter, we were #265 and were out the door with an iPhone 30 minutes after the doors opened.)

9:15… Annette shows up with the girls. “Are you almost ready to go?” I’m 4 away from the door. “Sure!” I say. I send them on to Chick-fil-A for their breakfast. They go and come back…I’m still 4 away. I tell Annette to head on to the doc with Caia (our 1-year old). I’ll take Kenni (3-1/2) with me so she can sit in the waiting room with just 1 child. Doc appointment is at 10:15…20 minutes away.

9:30… Still 4 away.

9:50… 2 away. NOW, the 4 ladies who were first in line finally leave. What on EARTH took them that long?!

9:55… FINALLY! In the doors. Me: “Give me a white one.” Cashier: “8GB or 16GB?” Me: “The white one.” Cashier: “Right. 8GB or 16GB?” Me: “The white only comes in 16GB.” Cashier: “Are you serious? I didn’t know that! Wow! You just taught ME something! Don’t tell anybody.” [He was serious.]

He tells me they are no longer trying to activate the phones in store because iTunes is overloaded. So I’ve got to take it home to activate it myself. He must have reminded me 20 times. Fine by me… That’s how it worked last year. Still can’t figure out why they were trying it in store to begin with. Baffles me.

10:12… I tell him I want to pass my original iPhone on to my wife. Here’s her SIM chip. “You’ll have to purchase a new one.” What? Are you serious? “Yes, they’re $25.” Do you mind if I ask the manager just to be sure? [I ask...she says I do NEED a new chip, but there's no charge.] Glad I asked.

10:18… I manage to work in a comment about the doctors appointment for my wife that I’m now MISSING. He just jokes with me about how upset she’s going to be and how I’m going to be in trouble. Sorry, friend… How about, “I’m very sorry sir… Let me see what I can do to complete the transaction as quickly as possible.” Instead, he goes looking in the back of the store for a calculator…which he never finds and ends up not needing.

10:18… The last in stock phone sells. There are still 35+ people in line outside the dead-bolted door.

10:23… He asks what plan I’d like. I tell him I just want to keep my current plan. He tells me I can’t. WHAT?! [We have been paying a ridiculously low amount for a great plan for 3 years.] So this time HE initiates the conversation with the manager (he’s starting to get me). She says I DO have to change plans, but she can adjust it so we’re not losing our accumulated rollover minutes and we’re paying the same price. Fine…whatever.

I remind him about the new SIM chip. “Yes sir.”

10:28… He says he goofed something up. “Let me just start this transaction over again.”

You’ve got to be kidding me.

10:37… I’m finally paying. I remind him about the SIM chip…again. “Oh, yes sir. Let me take care of that before you leave.” Why, thanks! That’s a GREAT idea!

10:42… Kenni and I are in the car driving off. Since they couldn’t activate the new phone, I pull out my old one to call the doc’s office to have them tell Annette that I’m on my way.

“No service.”

Weird. Must have hit a bad cell. Drive a mile or two.

“No service.”

What?

“No service.”

They not only couldn’t activate my new phone… They also failed to tell me that my old phone’s SIM had been fully disabled and that I could use IT either!!!

Fantastic.

Drive the 20 minutes. I’m hoping on all hope that the doc’s office is as busy as it was last time.

11:06… Pull into the doc. Her car is still in the lot. That’s a good thing…I hope.

I unload McKenna and walk into the waiting area. There’s Annette. “Oh, good!” I think to myself. “She’s still not been taken back.”

Wrong.

She stands up, gives me the stare, and starts walking towards the door.

11:20… We arrive at Panera where I see a guy who was at the same at&t store. He’s trying to activate his phone. To no avail. That’s when I found out that iTunes was having trouble all around the world. He’s been reading on forums about the debacle. He’s frustrated.

Foreshadowing… I’ll soon be frustrated myself. Blah.

11:30… We have our food. Annette’s giving me the doc visit recap. Baby’s good, BP’s good, bloodwork’s good. Heartbeat’s good. Good.

11:50… I’m on the Panera WiFi trying to activate. Error. Error. Error. Error. Wait…maybe? Error. Dangit.

12:00… Annette’s going to head on to the grocery store with Caia. “See you in a bit!”

12:15… Error. Error. Error.

12:30… I give up. Taking Kenni to the church office where we can chill while I click “OK” on Error dialogues.

1:10… Error. Error. Working on some busy work while I monitor. Error. Error. Upload some stuff for the webpage. Error. Error. Maybe? No, you loser! Error!

2:05… I get a “Welcome!” email from at&t. Welcome to WHAT?!

2:08… New iPhone starts blinging about 30 texts. What tha…

iTunes is still giving errors. So I can get and send texts, but I can’t sync the darn thing?!

2:11… What’s that?! Is it? Maybe?

YES!!!

Activation process commences. Goes right through the process…no sweat.

But what about Annette’s phone (my original one)?

No problem. Activates like a dream.

Sheesh.

2:25… 2 phones activated. And what makes me SICK, is that for some strange, annoying reason, I can already tell that I’m losing my deep rooted frustration. What is THAT about?! Why is my anger waning? Am I that forgiving, or am I that sucked into the hype and euphoria of this stupid gadget that will burn will probably be in a landfill or the back of a drawer before my next child can say the alphabet?

PLEASE tell me I’m that forgiving.

Review to come in next post. Standby.

Sp