Life Lessons from Stevi B’s

Last night, Annette went galavanting with the girls in our Journey Group. I think they went to see Mamma Mia or something because she’s been singing broadway tunes ever since. I attempted to keep both of my daughters alive in public while driving all over town to take photos of some of the Community Makeover recipient families. The ultimate task of keeping Kenni and Caia alive was mostly successful.

After peeling Kenni’s very core of existence off of a pony named Trinity at McKenna Farms (the first photographic location), I drove her screaming figure and her hungry sister to Stevi B’s. A little pizza buffet and S’mores dessert always makes everyone feel better.

Some things I thought while there:

1. There’s nothing like knowing the needs of your target audience… Just past the plate stacks, there was a basket full of disposable ramekins full of Cheerios with a sign that said, “For your little ones.” VERY customer-centric. ESPECIALLY when any parent knows what bringing Cheerios to the table as finger-food ultimately brings…a scattering of said Cheerios across the floor, highchair, and table.

2. Why doesn’t EVERY restaurant feed children 3 and under for free with the purchase of an adult entrée? Because every parent also knows that there is no circumstance under which a 3-year-old will eat a meal for which you have actually paid. Mac’n'cheese, nuggets, pbj, grilled-cheese. If the child sees money change hands for the food at his or her plate, there is a instinctual drive to eat no more than 3 cornflake sized bites of the outer edges…ESPECIALLY if the food is “too hot.” Stevi B’s knows that the child will only receive nourishment if the food is served for free.

3. If you are a man sitting by yourself at a table with 2 or more children that appear to be under control, said man will feel like a celebrity being watched by every woman over the age of 43 in the restaurant. I swear, I felt so much pressure to keep the girls well-behaved that I started to develop a tick. Middle- to older-aged women all over the place were watching the girls with smiles across their faces whispering things to their table mates.

4. Diaper changing tables in every public restroom should be a Federal requirement. There is no excuse for any establishment, ESPECIALLY restaurants, not having a diaper changing table in the women’s AND men’s restrooms. And they MUST be IN the largest stall available. This was my only hope for keep Caia alive while I McKenna took care of her business without rubbing her hands all over the toilet and then licking more S’mores pizza from her fingers. Did Caia enjoy being strapped down to a shelf? Probably not. But again…ultimate goal of keeping the children alive was achieved. If you run a business with public restrooms but do NOT have a diaper changing table, may I suggest you make a purchase here.

5. Never, ever leave the restaurant without bringing the 3-year-old’s beverage along. She WILL remind you later…with tears. Many tears.