So I had to buy a pair of Chacos for my buddy Jon’s wedding this weekend. (We groomsmen are wearing snappy brown suits and Chacos.) Luck would have it that the new REI in Kennesaw was opening today…and REI members got 25% off a purchase…and I had $13 in member dividends…and they were giving away good stuff to the first few hundred people through the doors. Sooooo, to give Annette a little bit of a pressure relief for the morning, I took Kenni along for the ride.
Woke her up early, and stuck her in the truck. She was very excited to go to Chick-fil-A for some chicken minis, and then to “the tent store.”
I expected a couple of hundred folks to be waiting. But holy smoke… It was as crazy as an Apple Store opening. There were many hundreds in line… All the way past Ulta, Shoe Carnival, Old Navy, and the entire width of Target.
I ran into some friends from West Ridge and some of our church plants. I also ran into a great friend from my days on staff at North Point. Rachel Rollins (now Rachel Jackson) was on the Global Missions team while I was working in the Student Ministry at NPCC back around 2000-2001. I tagged along with a team she led to Zilina, Slovakia. Good times.
Anyway, Kenni was very patient in the line. I sold her on the wait by calling it a “picnic.” After waiting in line for a good half hour or so, she told me she had to go potty. On the one hand, great! My 3-1/2yo is finally getting the concept! On the other hand, dangit! We’re number 13 bagillion in line, and she’s got to go. We run into Target, do our business (she always tells Annette and I she’s proud of US when we potty, too… Glad the guy in the stall next to us heard all THAT. But it sounded like he had his own issues). We wash our hands, run into her old Praiseland teacher in the Starbucks, and then look out the window. “Why are all those people walking so fast?!”
Sure enough, the line has started cruising into the store. Crud!
We dash out of Target and breeze down the line looking for the lady who said she’d hold our place. She sees us and calls us out. Thank the Lord for nice people.
Fast-forward… They let EVERYONE in the store at once. Holy cow… It’s like Black Friday. Madhouse. I wait forever for my shoes. Finally get them. Then Kenni finally gets to do what SHE came for… Play in a tent. (Whatever works.) She kicks off her Crocs, dives into a 2-man and pretends she’s camping. Cute. Five minutes. Now it’s time to get into the checkout line.
Crap. The checkout line. And I thought the line outside was long.
So we walk to the far back corner of the store and get in line. Kenni’s ready to go. She’s asking to play in the tents again. Then she asks again. And again. I’m telling her she can play in the tent when we pass it again. Time passes. More asking. Then the tent is finally in enough view that I can let her play while I stay in line. But as I’m getting ready to send her, I notice a lady having a duck at the tent’s door. Her 2 or 3 year old is trying to play inside… Mom is going nuts over a band-aid in the tent. “Get OUT of there! Do you SEE that? That’s a used band-aid! You NEVER play near a used band-aid! That’s DISGUSTING! Get OUT of there NOW! I said, NOW!”
Me: Look down at Kenni’s pointer finger.
“Kenni, where’s your band-aid?”
She looks down at her hand. “It fell off.”
Oops.
So I send her on to play in the tent, but first tell her, “Kenni… When you get in the tent, pick up your Dora band-aid and put it in your pocket.”
The frantic mother? She looks me square in the eye and says, “DON’T let her play in here! There’s a used band-aid!”
I pause, then confess.
Mom still takes her daughter away. Kenni gets 5 more minutes in the tent. “Daddy, I’m camping!”
We finally get to checkout, I get a nice pair of Chacos for cheap and a ‘fox tail’ whirly-ball-thingie for Kenni, and we head off to Moe’s.
Life is never dull with this kid. I love it.